Another year begins

I had a bloody good cry as I read back through this blog and I realised that even though this story began over five years ago the intensity of the loss and suffering is still tangible. I go about my life now with it somewhere in the back of my head, as is normal else I'd be institutionalised by now, but there are times when it slaps me full in the face and the tears stream down my face making my mascara run, much as the rain did on that day. I need to find a life for myself and I have been trying to do this for the past few years. I have based finding my new life on finding a new man but have now learnt that this is the wrong way to go about it. Desperate is unattractive to the attractive, and, conversely, desperate is attractive to the unattractive. By attractive I don't necessarily mean to the eye, but also to the mind. I have made some foolish choices and cannot believe that I have, but I have learnt a lot and so I guess things have turned out ok. My arm pain continues and I am almost at the point of accepting that it will always be that way. Aside from maxing out on painkillers or having radical surgery that could affect my left leg there are no more options, and getting drunk every night to numb the pain is not really cool!! I have discovered some really true friends but I choose not to rely on them too heavily as they have lives too. I know that's what friends are for but I don't want to be too dependent, as usual! Funniest reply I've made most recently, "Sorry I can't come out on Tuesday I have to take my leg in for it's two year service!"

2013

It's been 4 years, 4 months and 17 days since the accident. So much has happened in this time and I have grown from strength to strength, thanks not in a small part, to the support from my family and friends. I, and all those who know me, know that if it was not for my children I wouldn't have found the strength to survive and to grow. Life has gone on and we have all found things to focus on but still thinking about a future without my Si is so hard, even after all this time I miss him every single day.

2012 already!

Blimey, just realised I haven't written since August last year!
Quite a lot has happened since then. I had a trial for the genium knee which was so fantastic that I bought one and I am now the first female user in the UK. I thought the C-leg was good but this is so much better.... affording me better stability, control and extra functionality, such as walking up stairs stair over stair! I've only had it since January so I am still learning it, and because of my limitations with sockets I still get the occasional blistering but it makes me feel much more secure and I haven't fallen over .. yet!
I have a cosmetic arm, I am trialing a 'guitar arm' and am looking forward to trialing a myo-electronic arm once my strength has increased in my right arm. Speaking of which my arm has improved so much, I am able to carry light objects under it, I can bend and flex my elbow and my arm is not as sub-luxed. This is all due to weekly physio, hydro and bi-weekly acupuncture. It's hard work and absorbs my life but while I continue to see improvements it's worthwhile. Unfortunately the pain in my arm has not improved and I have been offered an electrical implant, their results have been very successful so I am hoping to have that procedure later this year.
I am volunteering at the local hospital charity shop two mornings a month, it's good for my social rehabilitation but I'm still struggling to come to terms with myself so social situations are still quite difficult.
Another Christmas, wedding anniversary and valentines day have passed ... Christmas is the worst, even with all the family around me I felt so lonely.

Anger and frustration

The man that killed Si and caused my terrible injuries took full responsibility for his actions. His car insurance policy was in place for such an event yet his insurers sit back and allow me to suffer by constantly refusing to provide the funding I need to ease my difficulties and restrictions. Surely their duty is to provide measures to prevent further suffering and discomfort and to ensure that my life is restored to as close as is feasibly possible to how it was pre-accident. They are causing me further physical and mental pain and discomfort, and serious financial concerns by their constant refusal to assist when I need assistance.
I feel like they are treating me very unfairly and that they are trying to corner me into a settlement when they know full well that I do not have all the facts in place.
I'm so annoyed, it's just not fair, any of this.

My daughter was rushed into hospital last night, her partner went with her and she urgently needed someone to look after her children. Pre-accident I would have bundled them into the car and took them home with me. Now I can't even babysit without a carer with me and as my daughter is my main carer I could offer no assistance whatsoever. How unimaginable is that, that you can't look after your own grandchildren!

It's been a while

Quite a lot has happened since my last post. I have had my arm amputation and although I still have the same nerve pain it was definately the right thing to do. I no longer have to carry a useless arm around with me and my 'residual limb', more commonly known as my right arm, has regained a lot of movement. I have physio and hydrotherapy every week and I am gradually regaining more and more use. I have a cosmetic prosthetic arm which I am able to support and the weight of it is helping with my recovery.
I am getting more and more used to my prosthetic leg but my 'residual limb', right leg, is shrinking, that happens with the type of socket I have, add to that the fact that I've lost weight. So I am still strugging with socket fit and have to get another made. Hopefully once that is done my mobility will increase.
I've moved! It was a battle to get the funding from the insurers, who gave me an interim way short of the purchase price, but with a little bit of creative thinking and help from the parents I managed to get the money together and I moved in just before Christmas.

Two years

Two years today, two years! And I still miss him so much that my heart aches.

Not happy, not happy at all

Ok so I try to get on with my life because after all life is for living right? Well that's true I guess, and I have a lot to live for, my three children and my 1.5 grandchildren. But just some days it's so bloody hard. I hate being disabled, I hate the restrictions it carries, and the frustrations that it brings. I hate being widowed. Actually that is in the wrong order because if I could choose between the two I would rather be disabled and still have my Si with me than be widowed and intact! I hate not knowing what my life is or what it will be, my 'life map' has been torn into pieces and trampled on and I'm finding it incredibly hard to accept anything but what that was going to be.
I got a new car on the motobility scheme today and as much as I love it I also hate that I have this brand spanking new car outside my house and no Si within it, because honestly it's just material compensation.
But I have to accept that this is my life now because what other choice do I have?
I'm trying to move forwards and trying to be optimistic about life but it's been one hell of a fucking week, month and two years and right now optimism is slightly beyond me!
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to see what life there is for me.

Elective Amputation

It's definately going to happen, probably in about two months. I saw Mr Standley at the RD&E today and he agrees that it is the best option for me. He feels that my arm won't ever be strong enough to hold a prothestic but that's really neither here nor there. I want it amputated because it is restricting me, I can't carry around a useless limb for the rest of my life.
I am feeling very emotional about it as it brings so many things to the front of my mind. I'm also feeling very angry that I'm even in this position, whilst Meller walks out of jail this month and back to his life!!

Frustrating

It looks great, and I know it will be great it's just taking some getting used to. The kneee is stiffer, the socket is tighter and the leg is a lot heavier ... but it is getting better and I just have to be patient and undeterred!!

Happy new leg day

I have my final leg, finally! It looks so real. The knee joint is a bit stiff but that's because of the covering so bending it will help to resolve that. It's a bizarre feeling to look down and see my leg, and strangely I think I'm going to miss the looks from people now, although as Lisa kindly pointed out there's still my arm to look at! As soon as I got home I put on a skirt, yay!

The arm update

I've been having quite a lot of physio since my visit to Stanmore, and alongside the FES treatment my bicep and tricep are actually starting to work, I can bend and straighten my elbow! BUT .. and there's always a but, the dead weight of my forearm and hand are preventing the movement, and so I have to lift the weight off, either by laying down, or by the use of suspension at physio. All my physios agree that my rehabilitation is restricted by my arm, including my walking, and that practically I would be much better served without it. I spoke to my GP today about elective amputation. He agrees that it is the way forward and knew it was always a possibility, so he is referring me back to Mr Standley at the RD&E.
I have been thinking about this since my visit to Stanmore outpatients in March. Psychologically it will take a while to get my head around but from a practical, and functional view it is definately the right thing to do. It also then gives me options for hand prosthetics.
I'm seeing my pyschologist tomorrow which couldn't have worked out better, that will help me mentally prepare.

Manipulation

Wow I can't believe what absolute shits (and I really would prefer a stronger word than that) the insurers are being. After agreeing to give me interim payments, as I don't have an income, and agreeing to fund a cleaner they have now decided to withdraw all funding! So I either pay for the cleaner myself or the service stops, and where exactly am I supposed to get money to live off from? It's all in their plan to manipulate me into accepting their pathetic offer! Sorry insurers, you're messing with the wrong lady, I will not be manipulated ... hmm anyone want to buy a house???

The definitive limb begins

Dorset have all the components for my actual leg and so I have about 100 appointments, well about 7 actually, to get through and then I should walk away (pun!) with my 'real' looking leg. Yesterday was measurement, plaster cast and skin tone matching. Guess who forgot to shave her leg, very embarrassing especially when the silicone technician says
"Next time Caroline we need to see your folicles so if you could remember to shave that would be great" ...
Going back on Thursday but won't see that guy, thank goodness .. oh the shame!

The Skydive

I did it, and it was absolutely brilliant!

Please click here to read all about it

Dirty cash

It is an inevitable part of this whole process, after all it's about my future needs and so financial security is imperative. But it feels more like a business transaction than my life. Maybe that's because it's the only way to deal with it so as to spare my sanity. After all if I think about it too deeply all the trauma and grief threaten to return when I have processed them into a manageble place.
The insurers made me a settlement offer which was, quite frankly, insulting. They just want to get rid of me and I'm not prepared to let that happen until I have more information, if I have an arm amputation I'm going to need further prothestics and we still need a forecast for the earning potential of Casimo. Although having said that it will be nice to get this settled and concentrate on my new life.
On the upside they have issued a cheque for my definitive C leg which is bloody excellent news!

Emotional

I seem to have quite a good handle on my emotional state at the moment, so much so that my last session with my psychologist ended with us deciding that I don't need to see her until November, that's 5 months away! :-)
However I do catch my breath when I see a large motorbike, it's not always outwardly obvious but it happens almost every time. It could be Si ... but of course I know it isn't.
When I hear Angels or Hero I am brought close to tears and depending on where I am and what I'm doing sometimes I just can't help but cry. Arms of The Angel makes me smile, remembering how proud Si was to hear me sing it.
There will always be things that remind me of him, whether they evoke happiness or sadness. I have to accept that and I deal with it.

Rehab - no no no!

Well I'm sat in a hotel room about three miles away from RNOH Stanmore, I'm going in tomorrow for intensive rehab and physio on my shoulder and arm, and to discuss further surgery options for pain relief. I think we'll also discuss the options for my forearm and hand.
I'm feeling a bit like Billy no mates, thank goodness for technology or I'd be bored out of my brain!

Physio is working wonders and they've noticed a slight flicker in my bicep and tricep, so I have got some exercises to focus in on them. Everyone pretty much agrees that I'm not going to regain the use of my hand, but we need to wait at least another year before any final decisions are made. I am not going to have surgery for pain relief, it's not worth the operation... yet!
Meeting 'moaning minnie', 'checkout girl' and 'almost guy' has helped pass the week quite quickly but I am looking forward to going home.

It's for charity mate

Lisa and I are planning a skydive on 24th July in memory of Si. He would be 41 on July 25, so on the eve of his birthday we will be taking the plunge back to earth to raise money for the Devon Air Ambulance. We are hoping to raise over £900.

Si loved helicopters, so it was quite fitting that his last breath was taken in a Air Ambulance on his way to hospital. We feel that it's important that we do our bit to help them keep flying and help more people like us.

Yes we are crazy, but it is going to be very exhilarating!

The Road

I finally got the courage to do it. I have been thinking about it for months now and booked a double session with my therapist for Friday, I definitely need her with. On Wednesday, two days before, I had my DWT leaving do at the Mill On The Exe in Exeter. If I had taken 'the road' I would have been there in 25mins but instead I had to go via the motorway which took 45mins, it annoyed me! That was very helpful as it served to make me more determined to attempt the journey.
I have driven as far as the Ruffwell before so I was pretty much OK to there, although I did start to feel quite anxious when it started to rain as it was raining on the morning of the accident. I had it in my head that the Ruffwell was halfway but as I drove past the farm shop just after the Ruffwell it suddenly occurred to me that I was halfway to Exeter, not to the accident site and I was in fact only about a minute or two away from it. After stopping and chatting to my therapist I felt strong enough to continue with the journey.
My biggest concern was not knowing how I would feel or react.
It was really difficult and I was very very upset, a huge feeling of sadness overwhelmed me and I realised that this place is a memorial.
This is where I lost my soul mate.

C leg - the trial. And the dreaded arm!

I brought the leg home on Thursday after a really good training session at Dorset. Practising coming downstairs foot over foot was really strange and took some getting my head around. I'm walking a lot better and on Sunday I actually managed to walk around Taunton which was awesome. I am having a few problems with comfort of the socket but I think that's more about me getting used to it than anything, I guess that's all part of the trial. I also need to get used to charging it as my leg ran out of charge today so I had to come home early which was amusing and slightly embarrassing!

I had a very bad night's sleep last night which didn't help, feeling grumpy and tired is really not useful when I'm trying out a new leg so I've decided that I need to go back on to regular medication for the nerve pain in my arm. I have been taking medication for it on and off but I ran out of the nerve painkilling tablets over the weekend and I think that's why I had a bad sleep, so if it means I sleep well then I think on balance it's worth taking them. I have also started taking dl Phenylalanine, it's been recommended on the tbpi forum (traumatic brachial plexus injury) that I am on. It's supposed to encourage your body's own endorphins into action on the nerve pain so we'll see how that goes.

The legality

Of course the other thing that drags on is the court case, it probably won't reach a resolution for at least another year, so I have to keep reading expert witness reports and legal documents ... doom and bloody gloom! It's all true but how can I stay positive when I have to keep reading negative stuff.

The Right Arm

A constant source of pain and discomfort. My elbow, forearm, wrist and hand feel like they are in a vice, and for the most part that vice is deep frozen.
People ask me all the time if there is anything happening and I'm just a bit pissed off with it. I know they ask mostly out of care and concern but I'm bored with giving the same answer ... no improvement! If I'm honest it's because I'm afraid that there won't ever be much improvement. I want the three years to be up and to have a definate idea of what use I will have.

The not knowing is almost as bad as the pain.

I'm going to London on Tuesday to see the consultant, I don't believe I'm going to get very much out of the appointment and I think it's more for their records. The physios will probably offer me an orthosis, and me being me will take it but probably won't use it, from my research it looks like a bit of a contraption. We'll see.

The news couldn't be worse, the nerves that supply my hand were avulsed from my spinal cord so the surgery was unable to repair them, they patched them to try and reduce the nerve pain but my hand will never work. This leaves me with a real dilemma, but something that I won't need to decide on for 18 months. What's the point in carrying around a useless limb? It's only function is cosmetic, but could I really decide to have it amputated? It's at times like this when I really really need a supportive partner, family and friends are not the same.
I'm going to Stanmore in June 2010 for another week of rehab and will discuss things at length with my consultant then. He's recommended that I have another nerve graft to try and reduce the pain but I don't know, it would mean that I will lose sensation from the donor site. When will this nightmare be over!

Dorset... finally!

The prosthetic leg I have from the NHS is rubbish! Granted it allows me to stand and walk, but not without extreme difficulty and discomfort. Being the determined person that I am walking is now my primary goal. I love walking; not hiking or speed walking but just normal walking. Around town, exploring a new city, along the wall from Dawlish to Dawlish Warren, that kind of thing.
The leg I have right now is not suitable for walking at all, it doesn't fit properly, the gait pattern is not at all comparable to a normal gait, the knee does not support weight when it's bent, it rubs ... the list goes on! So I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love it because it means I am no longer completely dependant on a wheelchair, but I hate it for the above reasons.
Anyway the good news is that I am finally going to Dorset Prosthetics for a 'proper' leg. I'll be like the bionic woman, without the silly sound effects.. obviously! They are the best in the country and from what I've seen and heard it will change my life! Hopefully I should have the leg on home trial by the end of April 2010... very exciting!

Still recovering

The months that followed held some of the worst moments. As the reality of the situation really began to sink in I became acutely aware of everything I had lost, both in Si and myself. When I cried it came from the pit of my stomach and I felt like it would tear me in half. Sometimes all I wanted to do was get out and run, and run.
I know I was an absolute bitch to live with but my Mum and Dad, sister and L were there for me. They understood.

The cage finally came off in May 2009, hoorah and I was then in plaster! They also operated on my left arm again as it hadn't healed properly. This meant that I wasn't able to walk until my left arm had healed, which took until August. I also had restricted use of my left arm while it healed so for the first few weeks post-op I was quite literally armless. Very frustrating.
After that the consultant decided that it was time to fuse my right wrist, it was damaged beyond repair. So in October 2009 I had my final operation, they took bone from my hip and used a metal plate to fuse my wrist, effectively extending my arm bone down to my finger bones. I was unable to walk for weeks after that as my hip was so tender from the bone graft, my wrist was in plaster until January 2010. The funniest thing was every time I went to have my wound checked or plaster changed the team would ask if it was sore or if the bandage was too tight, they all know that my arm is paralysed... I feel nothing!

Saying Goodbye

I knew I had to do it but it was the hardest thing ever. I couldn't prolong it any longer, for the children's sake, for our family and friends, and for me.
Si wouldn't have wanted flowers and so the only display was 1-2-1, those closest knew what that meant, and what it will always mean.
It was a beautiful service and a fitting tribute to such a wonderful man, but all I knew was the emptiness that filled me and surrounded me. I stood with K,L and J and I spoke but I wasn't there. My children were amazing, so strong and brave. They had coped without their Dad and just a mere shell of their Mum.
I broke down when I got home, I remember feeling stripped of everything, desperate, helpless and utterly stranded. How had I got this far, how would I be able to continue?

Recovery begins - In my daughters words

Please click here...

The Aftermath

I only remember one face, T. He kept talking to me, kept me awake and I thank him for keeping me here for my children.
Everything else was a blur, there were so many people, so many voices, and the pain was indescribable.

The rain is falling on my face, and I'm worried that my mascara has run, then I'm in the ambulance looking at the clock with time that doesn't seem to move and I'm almost constantly, almost without stopping to draw breath, asking for Si.

I knew he had died, I just knew it but I couldn't comprehend it, and I wanted so desperately to believe that I was dreaming.

I'm not sure how long it took to get to hospital, it's so surreal and all I can hear is the sound of doctors and nurses trying to resuscitate someone.
And I knew.
I can't see and I can't move but I can hear them trying to save Si, in the bed next to me. I ask if it's my husband and they tell me that it is, and I listen. The sound stops and a voice confims what I already know, Si has died.

Then came the darkness and a pain so incredibly deep; I felt my heart break.

The final chapter

2004. Bikes led us to a motorbike shop, which led us to KB, which led us to ASW. Si's programming skills were truely put to the test when we were asked if we could write a lap scoring program.
After many months of head scratching we managed to understand what was needed and produced a fairly simple program. Things really escalated from there and a year later our finished software was, even if I do say so myself, amazing. We started collaborating with an overseas partner and produced a transponder system. That caused me endless sleepless nights but Si was confident with it, and it worked beautifully.
Our next step was to produced a fast system for MX and so work began on that.
Meantime we discovered that L was pregnant, we were going to be grandparents. Si was so excited, he could finally be a Grumps.

We spent months developing the MX system and our life revolved around it, working on coding, web promotion, brochures.... Weekends spent testing and re-testing, riding up and down on my motorbike with transponders attached, it was relentless. But our goal was in sight.

In August 2008 we went to Egypt for two weeks, stupidly! L was due a week after our return date so we spent pretty much the whole time away worrying that she would go into labour. She didn't. Three days after our return, at 5am, she did! It was the most amazing experience and Si was there coaching her and smashing her in the face with gas and air, yes literally! I was the first person to see O born, my first grandchild WOW!
Si was such a proud Grumps.

The middle bit

Si continued to work and study, he concentrated on Microsoft engineer exams and passed them all, he was promoted to IT Manager.
Things were good, with both of us working we were able to holiday in France every year with K, L and J. We always had a great time and in the evenings we played guitar and drank French wine together.

Si always wanted a Triumph Tiger and in 2002 we bought a bright yellow 900. He thought that it was without doubt the best motorbike he had ever owned. In fact he loved it so much he built a website about it. Si's Tiger site
It was around this time that we really began to think more seriously about our business, which back then was called Casimo Computer Consultants. I built websites and Si wrote specialised programmes and repaired PCs.
Life was busy with both day jobs and CCC but we were happy because we were doing it together.

The early years

Si had to leave his job due to a work related injury so we got to spend all day every day together. For some couples this would be their idea of hell but to us it was an amazing time. I never once tired of his company.
Times were hard, being on benefits meant money was tight but our love was strong and we held our little family together and did our very best to ensure our children had everything they needed. Si made the most of the time at home and with the love of computers growing daily he applied himself to studying computer programming, and understanding the inner workings of a PC.
We made numerous visits to various specialists about his injury and he underwent three exploratory operations, all in vain!
By the time J was 4 Si had become quite the expert in everything PC and decided that he needed to challenge himself further. Despite ongoing pain he wanted to return to the workplace and so started a course of pain physcology sessions to try and get on top of his injury. Within a few months he felt able to do this and was offered a job as an IT officer at a local charity.
Si decided that he wanted to get a motorbike. He passed his test when he was 17 and had ridden on and off ever since. It made sense as he needed a vehicle to get to work and running a second car was too expensive.
I have to admit that I found the first six months of Si working incredibly difficult. All of a sudden I was alone, all my children were at school and my husband was in full time employment. It was hard not to feel jealous, I'd had him all to myself for so long and now he was spending the best part of each day in the company of people I didn't know. I did the only sensible thing and took a job myself.

In the begining

We met in February 1995 and it was love at first sight. After a month of fighting our feelings we finally gave in and opened our hearts to each other. It was, we believed, our destiny to meet and we knew from the beginning that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives.
Si's Mother, or 'The dragon' as she later became known, hated our relationship, we never understood why. She said we would never last and as the first year passed we celebrated that we were still, and would always be, together.
I had two children, K and L from previous relationships, and Si had one child, Ki. Si loved K and L immediately and always treated them as if they were his own. They loved him so much that they wanted to called him Daddy and vehemently challenged anyone who would disagree! Si's child, Ki, lived with us for the first year of our relationship as her mother didn't want her full time but she was desperately unhappy, she just wanted her Mum.
In 1996 our family was completed by little J.
Within two months of J's birth The dragon disowned Si, and never tried to see J. She caused an extraordinary amount of difficulties in his relationship with Ki. Si said that she never really cared for him and that his grandparents were the ones who raised him, he felt as though he had lost his parents when his Nan and Grumps died. So very sad.

The Accident

Oh Fuck!

I saw the car, I knew we had nowhere to go.

This couldn’t be happening. It's just a bad dream, it's just a bad dream. But if it was a dream why did it hurt so much? Why could I feel myself rolling and hear the sound of things cracking?
And then the rolling stopped and everything went quiet, too quiet.

“SI!” I screamed, “SI, WHERE ARE YOU?” There was no answer so I screamed again and again, and again.
Then came the sound of people running towards me, calling to me, but all I could do was scream out for my husband, my soul mate, my first true love.

“It’s ok, you’re going to be ok” came a strangers voice. But I didn't care about me.
“Where’s Si, what’s happened to Si?” I screamed.
Then I saw the man who changed everything, asking me if I was ok, standing there after smashing into us asking me if I'm ok, with his own blood on his face and mine and Si's blood on his hands, forever. I screamed at him to stay away from me.

Then I heard a helicopter, it was so loud I knew it was landing.
“Is that for Si, oh my god what’s happened, where’s Si?”
I could feel the wind from the helicopter as it landed close by, it was so loud, and I couldn’t hear Si.
People were surrounding me and trying to calm me. My leg hurt so badly and I wanted to lay it down but it wouldn’t move. My arms hurt.
“Leave my hands alone, don’t touch my hands” I screamed out at the people around me, my hands just didn't seem to be where my brain thought they were.

I felt weird, broken.

Then I heard the helicopter take off.
“Have they taken Si? What’s happened to my husband? Why wouldn’t he answer me?”
Then it struck me and I stopped screaming.

I knew, I just knew.

That morning

It was forced upon me. Suddenly and brutally.

I refer to the day it happened as 'the accident' but it was bigger than that, it was the end of my very first love story, the end of my first true love.

It was a chilly, wet early November morning, I remember it like it was yesterday. Some would say it was the first day of the rest of my life, others would claim that it was the end of an era... either way things would never be the same again.

The alarm rang out as usual at 6.30am and we turned to each other in unison and snuggled.
“Morning honey” he said as we snuggled even closer under the duvet.
“Morning baby” I whispered as I nestled my head against his chest, feeling myself drift into the warmth and tenderness of our embrace. Fighting the urge to spend the entire day in bed I forced myself to get up.
I remember smiling as I thought about the weekend, the children had been away.
And now it was Monday.
At 7.25am came the usual “Are you ready?” from Si.
“On my way” I called back, as I finished applying my mascara. I normally got a lie in on a Monday and travelled to work seperately from Si but my bike was in for an MOT so it was an unusual early start for me.
I hadn’t heard any movement from J’s room, so just before I went downstairs I popped into her room and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Wakey wakey missus.”
“I’m awake” came the sleepy reply.
“See you later sweetie” I said, planting a kiss on J’s head.
“Bye mum”.
As I walked down the path I could see Si was waiting to go, he liked to get going by 7.30am so we didn’t get stuck behind the smelly bus! I fastened my helmet strap and hopped on the back of the bike, I put my gloves on and shoved my hands in Si’s pockets, as I always did.
It was a miserable day to ride, but always far more enjoyable than commuting in a car. Sometimes on the journey I would look around me and take in the view, and think how lucky we were to live in such beautiful surroundings.
Being pillion was such a great ride!