I knew I had to do it but it was the hardest thing ever. I couldn't prolong it any longer, for the children's sake, for our family and friends, and for me.
Si wouldn't have wanted flowers and so the only display was 1-2-1, those closest knew what that meant, and what it will always mean.
It was a beautiful service and a fitting tribute to such a wonderful man, but all I knew was the emptiness that filled me and surrounded me. I stood with K,L and J and I spoke but I wasn't there. My children were amazing, so strong and brave. They had coped without their Dad and just a mere shell of their Mum.
I broke down when I got home, I remember feeling stripped of everything, desperate, helpless and utterly stranded. How had I got this far, how would I be able to continue?
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