The Aftermath

I only remember one face, T. He kept talking to me, kept me awake and I thank him for keeping me here for my children.
Everything else was a blur, there were so many people, so many voices, and the pain was indescribable.

The rain is falling on my face, and I'm worried that my mascara has run, then I'm in the ambulance looking at the clock with time that doesn't seem to move and I'm almost constantly, almost without stopping to draw breath, asking for Si.

I knew he had died, I just knew it but I couldn't comprehend it, and I wanted so desperately to believe that I was dreaming.

I'm not sure how long it took to get to hospital, it's so surreal and all I can hear is the sound of doctors and nurses trying to resuscitate someone.
And I knew.
I can't see and I can't move but I can hear them trying to save Si, in the bed next to me. I ask if it's my husband and they tell me that it is, and I listen. The sound stops and a voice confims what I already know, Si has died.

Then came the darkness and a pain so incredibly deep; I felt my heart break.